No, It's not a joke.
5-minute read
I’m a Somali man in my late twenties and a practicing Muslim. I am fortunate enough to have many appealing qualities. Unfortunately, I also have a strong desire to live in a female-led relationship (FLR) which has made my search for a religiously and intimately compatible partner…. quite difficult.
Update (17/09/2025): After speaking to many women who reached out, I decided in Aug 2025 to delete this site for various reasons but largely in part because I felt I would have to compromise on my (basic!) standards for Islamic practice. Today the site is back online because someone who was practicing but incompatible in another area of life reached out to me after I deleted the site, giving me a tiny bit of faith in this method. I may still delete this site in the near future as I come to a final decision on the Islamic permissibility of this dynamic in marriage and leading with this criteria in the search for a partner.
The Dilemma - WHY I CREATED THIS SITE
None of us are in full control of what we find desirable, and the boundaries of what is acceptable are not defined by social norms but by what acts and dynamics are actually classified as halal or haram.
I have these desires, and I believe expressing them within marriage is halal. However, I have a bit of a problem which I'd like to illustrate with the following diagram:
It's not just that there's a very small number of people who fulfill this criteria, but it's incredibly difficult to filter for this criteria without risking the total destruction of your personal reputation. No matter how dignified, respectful and discreet you are in bringing this up with a potential partner, your reputation WILL suffer collateral damage because unfortunately….girls talk and there's nothing more scandalous than people of faith who happen to have "weird" preferences.
In 2024, I created a Reddit account and made a post describing this conundrum and was met with varying advice, the most common one being drop the criteria for sexual compatibility, optimise for deen and have trust in Allah. Although I understand the reasoning, and will probably end up doing that, I would like to first give it my best shot in finding an ideal partner before I give up and accept my qadr.
Hence this website where I hope my ideal partner can find me, rather than me turning sherlock on every potential.
Personal Ad Below but there's an FAQ section at the bottom that should answer 90% of your questions….
aBOUT ME
Alright, I'd like to now address you, potential partner! I am an educated, driven, compassionate and mild-mannered individual. I’m currently based in the UK, working in the tech industry, and I deeply care about living a meaningful life and impacting more than just my family & friends. Here's a brief overview:
WHO I AM LOOKING FOR
I am looking for a kind, loving partner to whom I can dedicate a significant portion of my life. I hope to find someone who can be a source of mutual support and comfort who will also allow me the privilege of serving her, nurturing our relationship, and growing together. I greatly value open communication, shared values, and a deep emotional connection.
I am not too concerned about age and would be open to someone in their early 30s. Additionally, I am open to relocation, provided it makes sense.
However, aside from mutual attraction, an interest in the FLR dynamic, and adherence to the Islamic faith, I have three key red lines:
CONTACT
If the above floats your boat, please get in touch! You can contact me via the links below. Let's both commit to honesty and privacy.
Much like applying for intelligence services, it's best to keep our communication discreet, especially if we end up getting married! Would not be ideal if others knew how we met!
faq